Remember when I used to be able to write? I really knew what words meant and could rattle on for quite a while and even talk to crowds about my work/ oceans/ fairy lights/ other things I thought were important. I kinda suck at that now. I really do think education is seeping out of my ears/ I should stop dying my hair. My biggest interest right now is television and my second biggest interest is probably how many pairs of pyjamas I own. Sorry about that, especially after my last post which was all like OMG LIFE! WORDS! CUT-OFF JEANS!, which are all still great things, I am probably just tired out today and therefore prone to a whinge/ loudly discussing my shortcomings with my blog.
Tomorrow I am going back to hospital FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME. This is no longer new news to you! Here is what hospital means to me: napping, Oprah, something resembling a routine everyday, being able to turn the airconditioning up to 30 degrees in my room, YAHTZEE!, losing weight due to eating only salad and lentils (score!), going to relaxation classes but spending the whole time either falling asleep and drooling in front of people, or dreaming about how much I REALLY WANT CAKE (everyone brings you (vegan love heart shaped) cakes the first time you are in hospital, but it turns out that is the only time). Also a lot of older patients telling me that 'their daughter dresses just like me but she is moody and listens to music that makes me deaf' and 'oh! You probably know each other.' I guess there is a 'getting better' part in there too.
What else? I fractured my hand a couple of weeks ago! it is no longer blue though, and I did it running with excitement to get some freshly popped toast and falling down, so there is really not anything interesting about that. I have been watching a lot of TV this week? Sean and Holly and I got cute matching colds and can't be bothered standing up. Hercules missed out but he is hella tough so I am not surprised. I like Masterchef again. I swore it would only be a one season affair. Today I watched Precious, which DID NOT MAKE ME CRY AT ALL. It only made me want to do a step by step review on my blog ala Soda. Also Fantastic Mr. Fox FINALLY, which is the best thing I have seen in forever, except UP!. I just wanted to smoosh those fluffy tails and stroke those faces. Holly copped the end of that emotion.
Anyway, I don't feel very well today. I feel strange about my family and also about being touched, and I have eaten like, 4 sandwiches. I can't stop twitching. My neurosurgeon has no idea what the lump in my head is. My Grandma got her heart valve replaced with a pig's valve after fainting in a shopping centre, which I have seen on T.V before. It makes me feel very soft towards her, even though she lives pretty far away. She wrote me for the first time ever about 2 weeks before she fell. It was kind of strange because we have never been really close, but I got quite moved as well. I wrote back the next week and have been constantly worried that this sudden correspondence possibly caused her to collapse.
I think I hear owls outside, but also the lady who lives above us is pretty obsessive about cleaning, to the point where it keeps us awake, so maybe it is just her cleaning her mirror over and over. Last week I accosted her when she was getting out of a taxi and we were drinking straight from a wine bottle waiting for one. We had never actually met before. I said 'I AM THE ONE WITH THE RABBIT OUTSIDE!' She said she knew.
Anyway, I have been meaning to tell you guys about an exhibition that is on at Little Creatures at the moment that I am in. the whole show raises money for the RSPCA, with artists effectively donating their work. I was really happy with my piece and was also so, so hoping that it sold so that i could feel like I'd made a contribution to maybe my favourite charity. I found out yesterday that it had in fact sold. I am going to show you anyway!
I was thinking that I could commission small drawings / zines / photographs / text based works to people I know for $5 or $10 each and donate the money to the RSPCA at the end of each month. I really feel bad that I do not do as much work for organizations as I used to. I really don't like the feeling of my life being just about me. If you are interested in this or know anyone who might be please let me know! It would help me to start using my brain again and help animals who have been at the hands of pretty unhelpful humans prior to finding sanctuary.
Anyway dudes, I'm out of The Mountain! See you when I return, hopefully more mentally balanced. xx